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My RIghts, Your Obligations
Adam was first formed, then Eve, which may give man some preeminence in creation. But, as a result of his preeminence, man often times has assumed some things that are not right which have led to all kinds of problems. Sometimes it has become “my” rights (the husband’s) and “your” obligations (the wife’s).
Years ago I received a phone call from an irate husband who demanded the scripture that says a wife must be in subjection to her husband! I do not remember what I said at the time, but I should have told him it is one verse below the one that says, “Be subject one to another in the fear of Christ,” and three verses above the one that says, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:21-22, 25). Now is that a picture of domination or servitude?
A lawyer friend of mine in another state, who had handled hundreds of divorce cases, could not remember even one individual in all those cases who ever really admitted their individual responsibilities in the marriage relationship. Each one had only demanded their rights! We see people in the news often carrying placards demanding their rights! But have you ever seen people carrying placards demanding their individual responsibilities? Yet, can you think of any individual right without an equal responsibility that goes with that right? Let me illustrate. A driver’s license gives me the right to drive, but with that right I have every obligation to respect everyone else who has that same right or I might lose my right to drive.
Let’s put this principle to the test. Catch any husband off guard and ask him the simple question, “Do you have any rights in the marriage relationship?” I have never met the husband with any Bible knowledge who could not answer that question immediately! “Absolutely,” he might say. “I have the right to be the head over my house and to expect my wife to be in subjection to me and even to reverence me as her husband!” Wow, that was quick and he did not even have to be prompted. Then ask the question, “Do you have any obligations in the marriage relationship?” [NOTE: There may be a pause or a sudden lapse of memory at this point]. So you move on and then ask, “Does your wife have any rights in the marriage relationship?” Here there may be another lapse of memory. So you ask, “Does your wife have any obligations in the marriage relationship?” Without hesitation, he can innumerate her obligations which just happen to be the same as his rights. Then ask, “Which one does the Christian place first, his rights or his obligations?” There may be another pause here.
A wife’s right to be loved like Christ loved the church and to be dwelt with according to knowledge becomes the obligation of the husband (Eph. 5:25; 1 Pet. 3:7). A true Christian will fulfill his/her obligations in every relationship whether or not they ever get to enjoy their individual rights! Rights are just the icing on the cake; obligations constitute the cake itself! You can run this same scenario in almost every relationship in life and get the same reactions; e.g. the parent/child relationship; the employer/employee relationship; yes, and even the shepherd/flock relationship in the Lord’s church.
What about the relationship between Christ and His church? Christ did not come down from heaven demanding His rights even though He could have. Rather, He laid aside His privileges and took on the form of a servant and learned obedience by the things He suffered (Phil. 2:5-8; Heb. 5:8). Though forgiven, the church as the bride of Christ has lost all demanding rights because of past sins (Rom. 3:23).
So, the next time we even think about demanding our rights, let’s remember that our rights must first be earned by fulfilling our obligations. Christ first humbled Himself before He became the Head of His church (Mark 10:45).
